Q: What makes you Teh Expert?

A: I'm not. Go away.

Q: Will my computer run UT3?

A: Probably not. To get a clue, read the "Minimum Requirements" list on the UT3 box. If it just meets those requirements, it will run, but very, very badly. If it meets the "Recommended Requirements," it will run, but just 'ok.' Get a better video card.

Q: When playing, my video used to be great but now, after 5 minutes or so, it starts messing up. The only time this happens is when I'm playing UT3.

A: UT3 stresses video cards pretty hard. Your video card and/or CPU are probably getting too hot. Go to Office Depot, Best Buy, or somewhere similar and get a couple of cans of compressed air. Turn off and unplug your computer. Open your computer case and blow all the dust out. Then, take the front cover off of your case and clean all the crap that has collected in the grill in front of the intake fan. Put the front cover back on the case. Now take out your video card and carefully remove the cover over the fan/heatsink on the card and clean all the crap out of the heatsink. Put the cover back on the video card and replace it. You really don't want to remove the fan/heatsink from your CPU so clean the heatsink as well as you can. Use the compressed air liberally throughout all of this, that's what you bought it for. Close up your case and plug it in. This should help.

Check to see if you have the latest video drivers for your video card. If not, get and install them.

Q: But my computer doesn't have a video card. I'm using the on-board video.

A: Most on-board video uses Intel chipsets. Intel's CPUs may be great but their video can barely display the black screen boot-up POST information. It's amazing that you can play solitaire with it. Get a video card. A good one.

If your on-board video is nVidia or ATI, the problem is still probably caused by overheating. Figure out how to install more fans in your case...after you clean it. Get a new case with more and bigger fans, if necessary.

Q: My laptop computer has problems with UT3

A: Epic does not specify any mobile video solution as being UT3 capable. Most laptops won't run UT3 properly or least not well. In any case, the purpose for having a laptop is so your boss can have you work at home or while you are on vacation without paying you for the work. Get rid of the laptop, stop working at home for free, and start playing UT3 with a real computer.

Q: I just installed UT3 and am having trouble getting it to run...or it runs but how do I tweak it?

A: First, make sure that you have all the latest drivers for your computer equipment, especially your video card. Second, get and install the latest patch for UT3. Third, read and apply Ultron's Tweaks.

Q: I installed UT3 Patch 2.0 and now, when I join a map either in Instant Action or on-line, I cannot move or even rotate around with my mouse.

A: This problem has plagued quite a few people. The solution is not too difficult:

1. Open Windows Explorer and locate your UTGame\Config folder.
2. Backup, then delete, the UTInput.ini file.
3. Start UT3, be sure you are logged-in, and start an Instant Action map; you should be able to move now.
4. Disconnect from the IA map to go back to the menu; go all the way back to the Main Menu.
5. Click on Settings, then Input, then Keys (Keys is at the bottom of the screen).
6. Go through the list of key-binds and make sure that it your keys are defined the way you want them (most, if not all, should be).
7. Exit the game.
8. If necessary, use Notepad to edit the UTInput.ini file to fix any special keys that you may have bound that you could not check on or assign in the game. For example, if you prefer to activate the Console with the tilde (~) key (like in UT and UT2004) instead of F10, you have to edit UTInput.ini.

Q: I have a FAQ I'd like to see here.

A: Email {DvT}JonahHex.

Q: I keep getting a A_Ambient_NonLoops version mismatch error. WTF?

A: A_Ambient_NonLoops.upk is a sound file that, for unknown reasons, has a tendency to get corrupted. It should be in your UTGame\CookedPC\Sounds folder and it should be 9,854,183 bytes. If it is not, download a fresh copy from HERE and, after renaming your existing copy (for backup), extract the fresh copy into that folder.

Q: My 'non-loops' file is in the right place and is the right size but when I try to join a server with certain maps I get a 'non-loops' error message — when I'm already on the server and it changes to the same map(s), there is no problem.

A:  This is a problem with the map(s), not with UT3 or the 'non-loops' file. The solution to this issue is to contact the author of the map and have him fix it and then have the server admin replace the defective version of the map with the corrected one. Since this is not always practical, the work-around is to wait until a different map is current on the server and then join; once on the server you can then vote in the problem map and play it.